


Broken

by thedorkychicken



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Junkrat, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, OOC maybe, Sex Repulsion, Trans Junkrat, not too important but its there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-08-11 18:48:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7903681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedorkychicken/pseuds/thedorkychicken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because not everyone wants sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken

**Author's Note:**

> [[ No mentions of genitals, but he does get a bit too close to the hips.  
> Skip to the bolded MCCREE if u aren't comfy w/ details. ]]

Junkrat smiled shyly as McCree kissed the scars on his chest, still ever so grateful that the man didn’t mind them. In fact, McCree always went out of his way to assure him his body was perfect, all of it, and that he loved Junkrat for exactly who he was.

Junkrat closed his eyes, happily enjoying the warmth and comfort of the situation, until he felt McCree move a bit lower. His heart skipped, not in a ‘his hand brushed against mine’ way, but more of a ‘something falls in your room in the middle of the night’ way. He carefully glanced down, his usual bright grin suddenly twitchy and uncertain.

“ _McCree_ ,” he whispered, in a voice a lot more hoarse and quiet than he expected or wanted. McCree might not have even heard him, the man confidently trailing kisses down his middle, showing no signs of stopping. Junkrat swallowed, feeling his heart rate pick up, not from excitement but fear. He tried to steady his breathing, and attempted to speak a bit louder.

“M....McCree?” His voice was still soft, definitely nervous, unfortunately giving his lover the wrong idea. McCree hummed in a, ‘Don’t worry, I’ll treat you right,’ way, planting a few deliberate kisses along his hipbones. He curled a few fingers around the elastic of his boxers, carefully pulling them to—

**_“MCCREE!”_** Junkrat shrieked, nearly kicking the man over as his entire body rejected the situation. McCree had finally snapped out of it, albeit extremely confused and frightened by the sudden rejection himself.

“What the hell was that about??” His face was flushed, still breathless, his body not enjoying so violently being taken out of the moment. His eyes finally focused on Junkrat, his stomach sinking at the sight.

Junkrat had curled his slender legs up to his chest, arms wrapped firmly around them. The man visibly shivered, making the whole bed shake beneath the two of them. McCree could hear him shudder, and whimper, and breathe, trying so hard to breathe, going back to shuddering again. His wide, fearful eyes bored a hole into the sheets directly in front of him. Beads of sweat dripped down his flushed face, but not in any way McCree had intended.

“Are-are you ok, darlin? What happened??” McCree climbed closer to his love, trying to make any sort of eye contact, looking for any sign that he was OK.

Junkrat’s eyes twitched to the side for a bit, before resuming their previous hole-boring duty. His knuckles went white, nails digging into his mechanical arm, wishing desperately there was still flesh so he could feel _something_ , get grounded _somehow_. He bit his lip, trying as hard as he could to snap himself out of it, snap out of it, why are you like this—

“Junkrat?”

The tenderly said name sliced through him, through all the fog and panic that had surrounded him. The junker blinked for the first time in what felt like centuries.

“Was....Was this my fault? Were you not ready?”

Oh, god. Of course he’d think it’s his fault! Speak, you fool!! 

“I-I-I-It wasn’t your fault!” he blurted, the sudden exclamation taking McCree aback again. It was an enormous effort to spit out the words from his locked emotional state. “It’s not you! It’s n-not you at all! Y-you did nothin wrong at all, it was, it’s me, i-it was.....my.....”

Junkrat slid his face down into his hands, giving the most defeated sigh McCree had ever heard. “It was my fault.” His words were slightly muffled through his hands, the man’s face completely covered. He could feel his chest tighten, his breathing becoming more and more difficult to keep even. “I. I don’t wanna do it. I th-thought I would be ready, dammit, e-everyone says you’ll be ready when the time comes, but not me! Not me!!! Of _course_ not me, what did I fucking expect, I—“

He was cut off by a metal hand resting on his shoulder. Junkrat glanced up, cautiously peeking through a single gap in his fingers at the calm smile offered to him. “It’s alright if you don’t wanna do it right now, darlin, I understa—“

“You DON’T understand!!!” Junkrat yelled, causing the cowboy to flinch yet again at the sudden outburst. “I’m not ready because I’ll _never_ be ready!” His throat caught, far too late to stop him from talking more. “I don’t want to do it!! I never want to do it!!! I would rather _die!!_ ” The tears came, flowing red hot down his cheeks. “I thought I could try but I couldn’t fucking do it!! I wanted to do it for you, for myself, t-to prove I was—“ 

The man hiccuped, his head hung in shame as large tears dripped onto the sheets below.

“Was-.........wasn’t........................ _broken_.” The man hung on that word for a good while, his shoulders shaking, his eyes searing in pain from the tears that wouldn’t cease. 

McCree watched silently, confused but much more than that, concerned, wanting so badly to comfort the love of his life that had melted down before him. He had decided it was best for Junkrat to let it all out, for God’s sake, it seems like he’d been keeping this in for quite some time. The cowboy waited for a bit, only hearing slight sniffles from the man. He was about to finally talk when he heard Junkrat, in the tiniest, most broken voice he had ever heard come from him.

“ _I was....I was afraid......you wouldn’t....love me....anymore....._ ” McCree’s eyes widened at the statement. “ _...that you would.....leave.......that you....wouldn’t want.......someone like me.........._ ”

McCree couldn’t stay silent any longer. He (carefully) grabbed the man by the shoulders, squeezing them ever so gently. “Hey. Darlin. Look at me,” he said as softly as possible, more of a plea than a command.

No response, albeit some shuddering breaths.

“Jamie. Come on. Show me them beautiful sunset eyes.”

He watched tentatively as (eventually) Junkrat messily rubbed his arm across his face, before slowly, hesitantly, raising his eyes up to meet his. Red, watery, but so, so full of shame, frustration, self-hatred. It pained McCree to see the one he loved this this.

“There’s my sunshine,” he whispered, giving the most patient of smiles. He gingerly cupped Junkrat’s face, wiping away tears with his good hand while carefully pushing away the wet blonde hair sticking to his face with the other.

“You remember me tellin you how you’re perfect? All of you?” McCree waited for a response. Junkrat sheepishly nodded, glancing a bit to the side, unable to keep the eye contact. “I wasn’t lyin then, I ain’t lyin now.” The man held his face in his hands, looking dead-set into the other’s eyes.

“You’re. Perfect. _Exactly_ the way you are.”

Junkrat stared back with wide eyes, with an expression of almost disbelief. “H...how? I can’t—“

“To hell with what you can’t do!” It was Junkrat’s time to jump, holding his breath while the man continued. “I’ve been with many people in my life, Junkrat. And no matter what any of them could do, _none_ of them could come even close do what you do.” Junkrat blinked, almost unable to process what was happening as the man praised him with passion. “ _None_ could light a fire in my heart like you do. _None_ could make me feel complete, feel whole like you do. _None_ could make me want to stand up on the nearest table and announce to the whole world that I, Jesse McCree, love this man and want to spend the rest of my days with him!”

Junkrat couldn’t help but crack a crooked smile, the quietest of giggles leaking out. The mental image was both entertaining and endearing. The laughter was like liquid sunshine to McCree, a wave of relief washing over him as he looked fondly at his smiling boyfriend. “There’s the laugh I fell in love with.” He gingerly kissed the man on the cheek, wiping away the last of the tears while looking at him with warm eyes. 

Jamie leaned into the rough but comforting hand, closing his eyes and letting out a much more contented sigh. His mind was still a mess, not fully recovered from the outburst, but doing much, much better. He focused on the warmth of his partner's hand and words, allowing himself to heal, allowing himself the chance to accept himself. He slowly opened his eyes, carefully meeting the soft brown eyes that stared at him lovingly.

McCree still loved him. McCree wasn't leaving him. McCree still wanted to be with him. All of the fears he had held inside for so long, that he held onto until the last possible moment, the worst possible moment, and he was still here, still with him, still loving him just as much as before.

Junkrat felt a certain peace he had never felt before.

McCree smiled, delicately tracing a few fingers down the side of his lover's face. Maybe he had sensed the calm finally coming over him, carefully laying on his side and inviting Junkrat to join him.

After a final deep breath, Junkrat obliged, laying down and securely wrapping his arms and legs around the other. It was the slightest bit uncomfortable with their prosthetics still on, but neither of them minded, both finding comfort in tangling themselves around eachother. McCree lazily twisted the slightly charred hair through his fingers while Junkrat was content nuzzling into the other’s chest, allowing the steady heartbeat to calm his own.

Loved. He was loved. He was worthy of being loved.

These thoughts no longer circled his mind as uncertain, paranoid questions, but gentle, firm statements.

I am loved for exactly who I am.

He let these thoughts surround him, comfort him, slowly lead him to the most restful sleep of his life.

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is  
> the first one i've done in a very, very long time. and probably the most personal at that.  
> i usually HC all the heroes as ace, but. I really feel like i needed to get this story out first.  
> I just. need more stories like this. more stories of ace characters, especially ace characters who're insecure over it..................especially ace characters who hav breakdowns over it...................Especially ace characters w/ comforting partners..............................
> 
> i. might write more. might not  
> i just  
> really needed to get this out


End file.
